Like biting into heaven.
This time last year, there was nothing I wanted more than to turn 22. 21 had been a rough year for me, and I found myself constantly hoping and praying that I would no longer be stuck in a rut; that I would stop watching from the sidelines as my friends went and did great things; that I could chase those damn dreams of mine and finally feel like I was living them out.
I can barely believe how things have turned around since then. Somehow, the stars and planets aligned to give me my best year yet, and the momentum has not slowed down.
I had been so worried about graduating and still not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. Today? I’ve found the career I know I’m meant to be in, one that I’m confident I will continue to excel in. From an intern, to a freelancer, to a full-time employee, I’ve moved up and made my mark in an agency that has been helping me grow up in more ways than one since my first day there. This has been my proudest achievement yet.
This time last year, I had been bouncing like a yo-yo with my ex-boyfriend, terrified of letting go and being on my own for the first time in four years. I didn’t know how to be alone, I didn’t want to be with anyone else—the idea was totally foreign to me. Today? I’m grateful that I was handed the freedom to discover what it’s like to be in other relationships, and learning exactly what it is I want from one. I have had the chance to open myself up to so many new opportunities, learned so much about myself in the process, and am beginning to understand that I should be proud of who I am and that what I deserve is not too much to ask for.
And even though I’ve always been the extroverted one of my friends, I had been absolutely mortified of leaving my comfort zone and the safety net of my friends to survive in the real world. I wanted to hold on, to pretend that I could continue living in the bubble of everything I once knew. Today? I crave new experiences, from new people, every day. Had it not been for the plunges I took, I would not be friends with some of the greatest people in the world, I would have missed out on one of the most exhilarating relationships I’ll ever have, and I would have gone to infinitely less concerts, new restaurants, and bars in Toronto. The best part? I still have my best friends I can count on—for adventures, for making the morning commute to work endlessly more enjoyable, for nights writing together and laughing about the most nonsensical things, for realizing that we have the power to indulge in our true passions, and for understanding that we should never, ever stop at any cost for what we love.
I’m lucky, so damn lucky, for everything that has happened in the last 365 days. I’m no fool who dares to believe that God didn’t have a hand in this. He helped a girl who was still crippled by her mother’s death on a daily basis to see that brightness still exists in the world, that the sun continues to rise every morning, no matter how dark the night feels. I’ve loved, laughed, respected, and lived in the last 12 months. This year will always remain in my heart as the year that everything turned around, the year that I remembered what it’s like to be happy.
Tomorrow, I’ll be 23. I’m sad that I have to say goodbye to 22, but I’m rejoiced that I can look back and be proud of all that has come to pass. I’ll be moving onward with no regrets, only the hope and belief that it will continue to get better from here. I know what I want, and I know what I need to do to keep this all up. 2013 has been all about Courage. I will not back down away from it all now. Not now, not ever. In fact, in the spirit of all things cliché and cheesy, I say…
Bring it on.
May is off to an incredible start.
Yesterday was my first day as an official full-time account coordinator at Proximity. I now receive a full salary plus benefits and bragging rights of truly belonging to one of the greatest digital agencies…ever.
Not to mention, the warm weather has finally arrived! I celebrated that fact today by taking a nice, long walk after work to the train station and shopping as I went along, buying two gorgeous dresses and calling them my birthday outfits. It was two hours later before I even arrived at Union, and I had worked up quite the sweat and some sore feet (having walked in heeled booties), but I felt fantastic.
I do believe May 2013 is trying to top May 2012. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what else happens this month!
I miss Paris, the south of France, Amsterdam, and Bruges. I want to drink tea along the Seine and walk across cobblestone paths again. I want to ride a boat along a canal weaving through the city and I want to devour a fresh macaron or two and a hundred other French pastries from the bakery down the street in Fontainbleau.
There are so many other cities I have yet to explore, too; paths waiting to be taken and grass to be laid upon. Sun to be soaked into my skin and misty rain to leave raindrops in my hair. Coffee to be had and beautiful buildings and castles and cathedrals to be admired.
It’s been over a year since I’ve boarded a plane, and my wanderlust is particularly severe this evening. Not that it was ever easy before, but I find the limitedness of my ability to uproot my life and go wherever my will may take me is heavier than usual.
Simply put, I just want to fly away. Is that too much to ask?